indecision ...

   [The sound of something heavy being dragged through the woods.]

  "Albert?"

  "Yes, Clarence?"

  "Do you suppose we will have to move now?"

  "Oh, I don't think so.  If we were suddenly to leave town after two police officers came to see us, it might just look a little suspicious."

  "But we didn't do anything."

  "No.  We didn't.  But we could have, and that's what people will focus on.  Watch the head there.  You don't want to hit it on that big rock."

  "Oh, right.  Sorry.  I wasn't watching where I was going.  Albert, what is your favorite leaf color?"

  "What?  Leaf color?  What on earth are you talking about?  Watch where you are walking!"

  "I am watching!  I was just wondering what your favorite color is for fall leaves.  You know.  Red.  Yellow.  Orange.  Which one is your favorite?"

  "I don't know.  Yellow, I suppose.  Although red is a beautiful color.  Orange can be also, in the right light.  I really don't know.  Mind this log here.  You'll have to lift higher to clear it."

  "It sounds to me like you like the indecision leaves the best.  Oof, this seems to be getting heavier by the minute.  How much farther now?  Are you really certain this was the only option?  My back is going to be killing me for a month after this.  Tell me again why we couldn't use a car?"

  "If you would complain less and walk more it wouldn't be taking nearly as long.  And yes.  This was the only option that would protect us.  We couldn't take a car because we don't have a car that runs, remember?  SOMEONE keeps forgetting to get a new battery ordered.  And what the bloody hell is an indecision leaf?"

  "Why should I be the one that has to order a new battery?  You're the one with the license AND who knows how to drive.  An indecision leaf is just that.  A leaf that hasn't made up its mind what it wants to be, so it just has all the colors on it.  Even still a bit of green.  You know, we really got lucky that the officer had arechna ... arack ... had a fear of spiders.  Who would've thought that a grown man could scream like a little girl?"

  "Ha!  Don't flatter yourself.  It sounded just like you when you thought that odd bit of yarn of Mother's was a snake."

  "I was five years old!  What was I supposed to sound like?"

  "That was just last week when you were cleaning out the pantry looking for sweets, and don't try to be coy.  I came running to see what was wrong with you and nearly gave myself a hernia laughing when I saw what it was.  But yes, we were lucky that he fainted as well and hit his head.  With all of the chaos of calling the hospital and getting an ambulance out for him, the detective never even thought to check the cellar himself."

  "Albert."

  "What is it now, Clarence?  If we don't get Mary buried before dark, we will never find our way back, and I for one don't want to be out here in the dark with her.  It's bad .... why did you stop?"

  "Albert.  She's moving.  She's moving under the sheet."

  "What?!?!  Don't be daft.  With all the webbing that spider of yours spun around her, she can't still be alive and ... what is that?  Is that a ...."

  "It is.  It's a baby spider.  It must have laid its eggs inside Mary and now they are all hatching from her.  What should we do, Albert?"

  "RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN"