New Year's Eve ...

Checklist:  

1. Feed the neglected German Shepard, Gus, across the street some leftover turkey.  Check.
2. Play a game of frisbee fetch with Gus. Check.
3. Play a game of tug with Gus and his [gross] green snorting pig toy.  Check.
4. Wash hands and arms twice in hot water. Check.
5. Pour my first mug of coffee.  Check.
6. Appease grumpy [jealous] Charlie with a game of monkey-man fetch and chase.  Chick.
7. Realize I left the turkey in the laundry room.  Get it and put it back in the refrigerator.  Check.
8. Be determined to blog daily in the new year and participate in more writing challenges like Words on Wednesdays.
9. Be determined to finish all my current craft projects before starting or buying new ones:
• Yarn and vintage jewelry hoop weaving.
• Polymer clay gnomes for my moss garden terrariums.
• String crystals for the upcycled brass ceiling fan fixture yard art.
• Homemade Christmas cards to send out in 2023 since that project didn't get finished in time for 2022.
10. Be determined to read one [old-fashioned, page-turning] book a month in the new year as part of my break from social media and technology when I get off work in the evenings.
11. Realize that I can't stand the clock in the living room with the dying battery displaying the wrong time just one more minute and get the ladder from the laundry room to change the battery.  Check.
12. Realize if I want to get serious about getting anything else done today, I need to get off the couch and move my behind.

2022 has been a year of ups and downs and more busy-ness than I'm used to but in good ways.  2021 was busy with illnesses and doctor appointments.  2022 was church activities and events.  I want 2023 to be just as busy as 2022, but in ways of service in the church, travel to see family and friends utilizing Amtrak trains, becoming more deliberate and organized in my purchases and activities.  I have a new long term goal for semi-retirement:  I'm looking into degree study programs in Germany where I can be an expat for a year and learn something new and fun.  Oddly enough I'm finding it difficult to find a degree program in sitting by the river and watching the boats go by.  

I'll keep looking, tho.

'Twas ...

’Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all through the houses
Not a creature was stirring, not even the mouses;

Tho to be perfectly fair,

they'd never breathed air

full of fabric and fluff

and catnip were stuffed.

The stockings were hung on the plant shelves with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The dog and cats had all made a list,

impatiently I waited, and silently wished

that St. Amazon soon would deliver their gifts

forget old St. Nicholas and those childhood myths.

The fur-kids have nestled all snug in MY bed,
While visions of treats danced in their heads;
And me in flannels, and thick winter sox,
Had just settled down with my latest craft box.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sofa to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash,
Peeking through the curtains saw a blue light that did flash.

At first, I did think, 'twas the neighbors again,

Fighting and arguing as if they could win.

The street light did shine on the last fallen leaves,
Gave the luster of mid-day as a car slowly weaves.
When, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a bright red fire truck, and sounds of great cheer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
For a moment I thought that it might be St. Nick.

Shaking my head, I certainly did ponder

My thoughts briefly wandered.

Could St. Nick have been real?

More than just marketing appeal?

More rapidly than snails soon more vehicles came,
And I waved, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Hi, Jessie! hi, Noah and Marcus, Parrish and Will!"
TRC's worship band, Redemption Alive was singing with hope to instill!

They were followed by floats filled with children galore!
Singing carols, waving, tossing candy, and more. 
Invitations to come to their Christmas play,

Where the story of Jesus' birth in a manger He lay.

From His birth to His death, and the sacrifice made,

The true meaning of Christmas is for our sins He did trade.

The Word came to life, and from Heaven, He came,

because God's love for us never did wane.

He became hated, beaten, and killed on the cross.

He knew what his future held, He knew the cost.

Yet He chose to be the lamb, our precious sacrifice.

No matter our sins, he was willing to pay the price.

His love covers us all, and forgives all our sins,

Just open your hearts and welcome Him in.

Free will we have, but He gives us so much.

Won't you give Him a chance, and welcome His touch?

"Dear Lord Jesus, I need You.  Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.  I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord.  Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life."

A Letter to My Much Younger Self

 

Dear Me,

     Dear me, dear me, dear me.  You've carried so much guilt and regret through life, much of it not yours to carry.  

     This is the year that you turned 60, or as Mom would have reminded you on our birthday "It is the beginning of your 61st year."  Regardless of whether I'm now 60 or on the precipice of 61, it is an age I never thought I would reach for many reasons, at many ages.  But I'm here now, and I've learned much.

     First, stop regretting saying no to Colorado and Jay when he asked you some 40 years ago.  Honestly.  If he truly loved you and was the "right one" (as if there is such a man) he would have come back and fought for you.  He would not have simply disappeared into the night.  Don't waste your time looking for him.  He wasn't "the one."

     I could tell you to not marry this one or that one, but I won't.  Each marriage, each wrong choice, and each bad decision came with lessons and positives.  You gained more than you lost with each of them.  Remember that.  They made you who you are today.  Stronger.  Wiser.  Resilient.  And you like who you are today.  But I will tell you this:

     Sex does not equal love.  Period.  Just because some guy wants in your pants, does not mean he loves you.  I get that you didn't have good examples of what love was.  Or what a good marriage is. But you won't find love in someone's bed or the back seat of a car.  Love yourself.  Love God.  Don't look for Dad's love and acceptance in someone else, you won't ever find it.  

     You are not responsible for someone else's happiness, or bad decisions, or wrong choices.  Don't carry the responsibility for what they did and blamed on you.  Don't let yourself be gas-lighted.  You also cannot change someone else with love.  No matter how much you love them.  The only person you can ever change is yourself.  That might mean you leave sooner, or never marry them, but so be it.  Make that decision with more wisdom and less guilt.

     Just don't leave before you get a certain dog you named Trooper.  He was the one true love of your life.  The right one.  A soul dog if there ever was one.

     Moisturize more.  Especially your neck and upper chest.   Aging sucks and that area shows it the most these days.

     Wear sunscreen.  ALWAYS!  Everywhere!  Get in that habit early.  Like when you are 10 and move to Arizona.  Don't go to that wave pool and get 2nd-degree sunburn on your back.  Demand that Mom put sunscreen on your back or wear white t-shirts to the pool.  You will thank me for it later.  Skin cancer, even basal cell, is no laughing matter.  Although pretending to be a pirate for a few weeks when you had that three-inch incision on your cheek was pretty funny.

     Speaking of that ... don't let society dictate your self-image.  Or insecure, narcissistic, manipulative, horses' hind ends.  You. Are. Beautiful. Just. As. You. Are.  And don't cry and freak out when you find that first white hair.  Don't color your hair either.  One day you will appreciate how beautiful your strawberry blonde becomes when it is more blonde than strawberry.

     Be true to yourself.  Respect yourself even when others don't.  Wait for love.  Hold on to your faith.  It will be there when no one else is, and never let you down.  You will find that family you've always wanted in a good church.  Don't give up hope for that.  I know because I found it now.

                                                                     Love,  Me.

Saturday

 According to this woolly bear caterpillar, we should have a mild winter, with maybe one severe storm.  

Or so says folklore.

I worked overtime yesterday, and it was a very quiet day.  To pass time, I worked on my circle weaving some more.  I've ordered some recycled sari silk ribbon to incorporate into it, and hope it arrives this next week so I can get it finished.

This is an upside-down light kit from a vintage ceiling fan that I'm turning into a hanging solar light decoration for the front yard.  I'm going to string crystals from the arms, and maybe find some brass bells to hang from the center.

Hallmark Channel has had its Christmas movies playing for a while, but tonight I'm starting with my own list of holiday favorites.

Giving thanks ...

 I could have sworn it was just Halloween.  I've been neglecting this blog and it frustrates and saddens me.  I used to love writing, and it seems to have been pushed to the side in my life.  I don't think that was intentional, it just has fallen away.  Like lovers who grow apart.  Writing used to be my escape from my life.  Now that I like the life I'm living ... I have no need to escape.  A good thing, but a sign also of how much I have grown and changed.  Again, a good thing.

 A few weeks ago, I started working on making some Christmas cards.  Just a creative outlet one evening.  I'm hoping that I can manage to finish more and actually get them in the mail before Christmas [unlike the Thanksgiving cards I bought in October and then "lost" on my coffee table until I found them ... today].

 Today I had Thanksgiving with my friend Nancy's family.  Thanksgiving may mean starting with Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, but for me, it's the National Dog Show that I look forward to the most.   I ate too much, but it was delicious.  Put up a window of Christmas lights when I got home.  Started working on upcycling an old light fixture from a ceiling fan into a solar light for front yard decoration from the dogwood or crabapple tree.

 I seem to be wrapping this year up with some mindful introspection, and making some new priorities for the years to come.  Good ones.  Good things.  Because life is good, and I'm thankful.

Spooky ...

 I let my inner Harley biker witch out on Sunday, and with a pumpkin shirt, I did an iron-on face with scrap fabric.  The collar is Charlie's, and I got more than a few double-takes from people at church.

 The trees are still showing some color and hadn't dropped yet, but today's rain and cold temps may change that quickly this week.  I just love the red of the sugar maples, although they don't compare to the colors of the Upper Peninsula with the white birch trees, brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds.

 I've been playing with some clay to make mushroom houses for the moss gardens and used a found snail shell to fill with green glitter clay.

 I know I should be working on getting more organization done, irises transplanted, and maybe some pawpaw tree seeds in the ground.  But rainy Mondays just seem to make me want to curl up and craft.  And sleep.  There is always the weekend...

Boooooo

 

fall leaves

ghosts of summer

sounds of kids playing football

I was gifted a bag of moss and have been thrilled to make small jar gardens.

Now to get some modeling clay to make tiny homes and gnomes.

hi neighbor ...

 
This sweet angel lives across the street from me.

Mama was a Siamese, she's got her eyes.

Daddy is a ginger tabby, she has his nose and ears.

And peach rings on her tail.

Her people have other "priorities" that don't include buying cat food.

Or dog food for their German Shephard who knows how to open the gate and wander looking for food.

So they both have been wandering to my neighbor next door and my house looking for food and water.

I'm not going to let either of them starve, but won't be adding to my crew.

This is a crafty thing I've been working on.

Weaving with some bling from upcycled vintage jewelry.

Fun, fun, fun!

fast forward ...

 

His Spoiled Hiney Hisself, King Charles

     This year is going by too fast!   I think I blinked yesterday when it was still July and here I am almost a week into October.

     Much has been going on, tho I don't have a lot to show for it.  I'm still unpacking and have managed to condense most of it into my laundry room.

     I was pushed last Friday (self-pushed) to get my spare room set up for company when I met a homeless woman who needed a helping hand to get back on her feet.  She has since gotten a job with a friend from church and started yesterday. 

     My DoDoToDo list expands as the nights grow colder.  I have hostas to prune, irises to divide and replant, and would like to get the groundwork done to plant flowers, herbs, and veggies next spring.  I'm beginning to realize I may need to be less ambitious about my gardening goals for next spring and maybe work on the center of my labyrinth first and add to it every season.

     Truth be told, I really need to win a lottery so I can retire and do all of the fun things I dream of doing.  Crafting.  Gardening.  Traveling.  Baking.  Learning.   But of course, that means buying a ticket ... an expense I really can't justify.

a few sunflowers ...

The church took a family outing today to The Hanna Farmstead.  I now have new garden goals for next year.

And a new delicious way of making apple fritters.

small steps

My garden goals for next spring.

  I've been making a little progress with unpacking.  Little steps forward, but then sidetracked with something that catches my eye here and there.  An idea.  Something to add to a list.  Doing too much, tweaking my back, and being forced to stop for a few hours ... or a day.

  The previous tenants were smokers ... and apparently smoked quite a bit in the bathroom.  I spent a few hours cleaning nicotine off the bathroom ceiling and walls.  Bleh.  Glad I finally got it done though, it made a world of difference in how the bathroom looks and smells.  I still plan to repaint the walls, but now probably won't have to paint the ceiling.

  I unpack, organize, rearrange, unpack, change my mind and rearrange again.  I'll be really glad when it is all done, but I'm trying not to rush it, and really hurt my back.  I see an acupuncturist at the end of September, which will be a new experience for me, but I can't take my arthritis medications anymore and need to figure out something else.

  My backyard is so huge I could almost have a small farm with mini Highland coos, mini goats, and fancy chickens if I wasn't within city limits.  It goes back to the big yellow building even though it is fenced just behind the small yellow shed.  The shed, fence, and all of the surrounding weeds will get cleared out at some point in the future.  I'd like to do a labyrinth garden for herbs and flowers, and planter gardens for veggies.

  Instead of farm animals, I'm going to look into fruit trees, to help pollinators and for the birds and wild animals ... rabbits, deer, but hopefully not bears.  I've seen deer on the street, but not (knock on wood) bears.

  I'm ready for cooler fall weather to start and have enjoyed the occasional nights and mornings when there has been a crisp snap in the air.

                   Stay safe.  Be blessed.

                        Ci

thoughts ...

Image Source: WeHeartIt.com

 I'm trying to get back into some of the good habits I had last fall and over the winter with my morning meditations, readings, and journaling.  I'm not sure if it was the stress of starting a new job, beginning to get sick again, or what caused me to get out of those habits, but I miss that quiet time.

I've also started a new mindfulness meditation journal that asked what three things made me happy.  #2 on the list was blogging, something I had also fallen away from lately.

This morning I was reading from 1 Corinthians 12 & 13, and thinking about God's gifts and promises.  Pastor Garrett has spoken many times about God's promise to replace all we had lost, and I realized this morning that I was misinterpreting what that meant.

I thought that it would be those material things I had lost in this life ... a vehicle.  Finances and savings.  Heirloom jewelry.  KitchenAid mixer and other appliances.  Fancy Princess House dinnerware and crystal.  Pampered Chef baking stones and cookware.  Mementos from my childhood and travels.

Things of this life and world.

But this morning I realized that the promised return of those things was not for "this" world, "this" home, or "this" life.  For my "home" is not here, it is not of this world.  My reward and promise come from the knowledge and promise of an eternity with Him.

I have no "need" for a vehicle when God has provided me with friends who are willing to drive me.  I have no "need" for jewelry when I am beautiful in His eyes.  I have no "need" for lost name-brand appliances, baking, and cookware, or fancy dinnerware and crystal glasses.  In truth, those things were bought to impress old friends of 40 years ago who are no longer even a part of my life now.  God has blessed me with new friends whom I do not need to impress because they love me just as I am with what I have.  I haven't lost those "mementos" because the memories are still in my heart and memories, and God continually blesses me with new ones.

Thank you, Abba, for always keeping your promises.

all the latest ...

 

This month has been beyond hectic.  I took the first week off to pack move clean like crazy but also had a doctor's appointment and a CT scan to see where I was from last year's scan.

I finished ten days of super strong antibiotics, one of which made me more and more nauseous as the day wore on, effectively canceling most of my evening participation at church because honestly if I'm gonna throw up, I want it to be in my own toilet.

The CT scan showed that my lymph nodes are no longer enlarged, my pancreas that had been enlarged from the pancreatitis last year has shrunk, and apart from normal aging wear and tear on my joints and spine, there were no surprises.  My blood pressure has even started to be on the low side.

The bottom line is that y'all are stuck with me and I'm going to be around to annoy my little brother for a few more decades.

I did, unfortunately, miscalculate my available time off and I will get hit with a paycheck showing 18 fewer hours this week than I was expecting.  I'm racking up the overtime while it is available right now to get back on track.

As far as being unpacked and organized ... bwahahahahahahaha ... not.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to make sizeable dents in it now that moving doesn't make me want to ralph.

I have been able to identify four individual hummingbirds that visit the two feeders outside my living room and office windows.  They appear to be parents (larger) and (smaller) children.  This > is the feeder outside my office window that can be very distracting at times as the four of them zip around and fight over it.

The girls love that they can sit in the window and sleep near me while I'm working.  They still both curl up together and snuggle at times.

Charlie is pleased that he has two window seats where he can guard the house.  I'm thinking I need to get more rugs and stuff on the walls to keep his barking from sounding so loud now that we are all in a single-story house.  Or get used to closing my office door when I'm working (something the cats don't always appreciate).

Last week I did get up to The Schoolhouse Rooftop to catch the sunset and listen to the husband of a friend of a friend play acoustic guitar and sing.  We've had rain quite a bit lately, including that night, but it was beautiful that night with lightning in the distance.

surfacing ...

 A lot has happened in the last few weeks ... where to start?

I started to get sick again like last year and decided to test the house for mold.  I'd been told that the owners did not do adequate (any) clean-up of the crawlspace under the house after the 2016 flood.  The house did test positive for mold, and I just tested positive for one of them [penicillium-chrysogen].  

I started sleeping in the new house the night after the test results in mid-July.  The landlords at the previous house are not accepting responsibility for failing to clean the crawlspace after the 2016 flood here when there were three feet of water inside the house.  I spoke with a personal injury attorney about what negligence and personal injury claims on their property insurance would look like, and he was not encouraging based on current legislation in this state.

I have three Roses-of-Sharon shrubs growing in front of the new2me house, and they are now blooming.   I'm looking forward to spring to see everything that comes up.

The next several weeks will be spent unpacking and getting organized in the house.  I have so much to do!

crazy busy...

 ... altho some days I just feel crazy.

I'm closer to getting moved out of one house and into another but feel less prepared than any move previously.  Part of it is because my body is again misbehaving.   The stress of moving and some other triggers are causing an internal response.  My weight is again dropping without trying, and while that sounds like a dream situation, it really isn't.

This beautiful piece was a freebie from a friend and is now in my soon2b new2me living room.

Instagram has some wonderful furniture flipping ideas that involve textured wallpaper sheets and am thinking of adding them to the two plain spaces above the cabinets, and also on the ends.  I think other than patching the wood where it is chipped or missing, I may keep it white, and paint the hardware and embellishments. 

Others have shown a gorgeous liner inside the cabinets and drawers of a bright, full floral design like peonies and I don't know if they a fabric or adhesive paper.  I'm almost partial to trying to find an upholstery fabric to use, and little puck lights inside the cabinets.

I had planned on repainting the living room (and all the other rooms in the house), but the blue/gray color may be something I can live with. 

The kitchen and bathroom, however, are painted this bright turquoise with dark teal cabinets that must go.  As accent colors I love them, but as wall colors they are too restrictive for decorating.  Not to mention a shock to my eye early in the morning.  I was going to attempt to paint them before I moved in, but the paint cost of the color I really like is a bit on the high end so I'm going to rethink it.  There is also no real hurry, and I can make it a fall project when I can open windows to air the house out.

I have found myself picking up bright blue kitchen linens, so think that is the direction I'm leaning in.  I may also consider peel and stick wallpaper.

Having a rental that gives me the freedom to paint and decorate is exhilerating.

Earlier this month I participated in a free paint class with the kids at church.  I'm really just a big kid anyway.

We created three note cards and two gift tags, and it was a lot of fun.  I managed to spill my paint water only once, and succeeded in not getting paint on my clothes, although my hands and arms were a different story.

The new place has a very spacious enclosed carport/laundry room with lots of shelves that will become my craft room.  It is not heated, but I have two heaters that I can use out there, and it will help to keep the house from looking like the laboratory of a mad scientist.

I'm looking forward to getting this month behind me, and to settle back into a healthy routine of meditating, reading, journaling, gardening, and crafting to allow my body a healthier outlet for stress.

Praying God's blessings on you this weekend.           Hugs, ~ Ci

like a weed ...

 I placed this chair on my front porch intending to put a planter with morning glory seeds beneath it to grow up around the legs and back.

But busy got in between my intentions and actions.

Fortunately, a self-seeded morning glory from last year volunteered to step up.

I just hope it blooms before I move so I don't have to leave the chair behind.

it's been a minute...

I've not been working on many crafts lately.  So much is going on right now, and most unfortunately none of it involves fun stuff.

I'm moving again soon.  Not far, but to a house that will be warmer in the winter and just a one-story home so my knees are already happier.  I have torn something in both of my knees and was supposed to have surgery ages ago in Wisconsin, but it was winter and I didn't want to deal with crutches in the snow and on ice, and have since become stubborn and obstinate.  Okay.  Maybe I've always been stubborn and obstinate.  I'm still not getting the surgery.

As a result, I'm trying to keep from getting distracted from the prep for moving.  

Because I really love packing and moving, said no one ever.

Not entirely successful at that.

A snail that moved surprisingly quickly across my front porch one afternoon.

Earrings from deconstructed necklaces.

Spur of the moment planter colored with Sharpie pens.

a week ...

 It has been a busy week of this and that.  I started working on my June tree ~ West Virginia is my theme.  It will be filled with ornaments representing places or events, the first is the Dandelion Festival.

I finished a window for a friend at church.

One morning I went out and my front porch and yard were covered with floof, and I was initially annoyed until I realized it was dryer lint from the birdhouse I have hanging out there.  The Carolina Wren who had chosen it did not think my floof fit her decor.

This is a beautiful piece of art that a friend at church made for me.  I absolutely love it and feel so blessed.

This sweet fledgling was fiercely watched over by two vicious parents who literally kicked my behind when I tried to pick it up and move it higher off the ground.

This is a poppy I made for another good friend at church who loves summer poppies and she is just as beautiful as one.

I love the color of this lily that has just started to bloom in the same garden where the purple irises were a week or so ago.

Finally, some laughter.  When I have trouble falling asleep, I play with the Instagram filters and take screenshots so I can look at them and laugh until I'm exhausted.  When I'm actually taking the shot, I can't see what I look like because I've got my contact lens out and glasses off.  To actually see them, I have to hold them close to my face.  This first one makes me look uncomfortably like my brother and won't be one I play with again.

I'm now very self-conscious of the size of my nose.