harold

   First off, do you know how hard it is to find an appropriate image of poop without being gross?  One that doesn't have big eyes, a cute smile, or has a unicorn reference?  It's nearly impossible.  So be grateful I found this one and was able to wipe that silly grin off its face.

   I have read and heard that being able to "name" your cancer helps to focus your thoughts on eliminating it.  So meet harold, my colon cancer.  No capitalization, it's not important enough to me to be respected.

  A friend suggested I name it after my ex-husband (because he was a piece of poop), but calling it david just seemed too familiar and affectionate since that was the name (his middle) that he went by.  So harold, his first name, it is.

  I'm now taking applications for an appropriate name for my liver cancer that won't be offensive to write about, and that I can find a humorous image for that isn't alcoholic or Blake Lively related.  I was going to call it Ryan, for her husband Ryan Reynolds, who owns a gin company but felt that wanting to kill off Ryan was open to misinterpretation.  He is an actor who never fails to make me laugh, so it would be difficult to send cleansing thoughts to "Ryan" without laughing or thinking of a Deadpool joke of his.