highlands ...

   "Clarence?  Where are you taking Augustus?"

   "Where he belongs."

   "But he belongs to us now, Clarence.  Really, I don't know why you got so bent out of shape about a small, innocent, sweet-faced little lamb being in your bathtub.  I did give him the bath he needed, and I washed out your bathtub.  I don't know why you are just being so difficult about this."

   "DIFFICULT?!?!?!?!  This ... THIS IS A LAMB.  Not a cute little puppy, or sweet little kitten.  It is a LAMB.  Lambs grow up to be large sheep that poo a thousand times more, unbelievably, than this small creature already does ALL OVER THE HOUSE."

   "Clarence, please don't scream.  You are scaring Augustus.  Sit down, please.  Let's discuss this rationally."

  "Rationally?  RATIONALLY?  You were the one behaving irrationally by bringing it home in the first place???  You ..."

  "Clarence, I really must insist that you refer to him by his name.  He has feelings, you know.  Now.  Tell me where you are off to with him?"

  "I am taking AUGUSTUS to a farm in Scotland where he will be able to live a happy life with other LAMBS and SHEEP.  Perhaps he will even meet a nice young EWE named AGATHA, and they will have little LAMBS they can name CORA or BERNARD."

  "Did you know that mares eat oats, and goats eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy?  A kid will eat ivy, too."

  [receeding foot stomps, a distant baaaaaaaaaa, followed by a door slamming]

  "It really must be his hormones.  Although, we did just experience a full moon, solar eclipse, and mercury in retrograde.  Perhaps he hasn't yet recovered."