Monday, April 29, 2024

baaaaaaaaaa ...

   "Albert!"

   "Yes, dear brother?"

   "Why is there a lamb my bathtub?!?"

   "Well, you didn't expect me to put it in mine, did you?"

   "I wouldn't have expected you to put it in any bathtub!  What is it doing in the house?"

   "It had a bit of mud and such on its wool, and I was hoping you could give it a bath."

   "YOU WERE HOPING I WOULD GIVE IT A BATH?  ARE YOU DAFT?"

   "There really is no need to scream at me, Clarence.  I am sitting less than two feet away from you.  Of course, I hoped you would give it a bath.  It is in your bathtub after all."

   "ONLY ... only because YOU put it there!  I've never seen that lamb before in my life!  Why on earth would I give it a bath?"

   "Because of the mud and such on its wool, as I said."

   "BUT ... [deep sigh] ... but what is it doing here?  What is it doing in the house?  Where did it come from?"

   "It came from the field, of course!  Where else would it get mud and such on it?  It needs a bath, so I brought it in."

   "ALBERT ... [deeper sigh] ... dearest brother.  We do not own sheep, therefore, we do not own lambs.  There are no sheep ... or lambs ... in our fields.  Therefore, it cannot be ours, and should not be in MY BATHTUB!"

  "Clarence.  You should really calm yourself.  You are going to give yourself a coronary.  Not to mention scaring the lamb.  If you must know, I purchased the lamb this morning down at the yards.  It looked at me with those eyes, and I knew that I could not let it go to whatever fate was in store for it.  It ... it more or less followed me home.

   "Wait ... where are you going?  Shouldn't you be going upstairs to your bathroom?  Clarence?  Clarence?  Augustus is there, not outside."

   [faintly from distance ...] "AUGUSTUS!?!?!?"

   [SLAM]

   "I just don't understand why he is so cranky this morning.  It must be his hormones."

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