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Now that I know something is going on physically with me, it seems like the "little" pains I've had for the past year or so and ignored as just my fibromyalgia have become more frequent and intense. But I don't know if that is just psychological because I'm more aware, or a real change in the intensity because of it progressing. As I told my doctor, I'm so used to being IN pain, that I don't even acknowledge it anymore and have developed a high tolerance.
The bills for my April hospital stay of four nights are finally catching up to me after going through my previous health insurance plan's processing. If cancer doesn't kill me, the stress of the bills will. I found out on Tuesday that I owe about $30k unless the hospital has a "charity" willing to offer financial assistance. I feel like both the rock and the hard place just fell on my head. I will be submitting the application to the hospital next Monday after my GYN appointment. Fingers crossed.
The more doctor/specialist visits, test appointments, and whatever treatment options I have will provide more bills, even if my insurance deductible was met with just the CT scan (my portion alone is $1,300), I will still have out of pocket costs associated with them. But they will also cause me to miss more hours from work, which will become an issue. Just one 8 hour day is a significant decrease in a week's pay, and I won't be able to keep with my original plan of just missing one day of work a month.
For laughs, I looked at what the social security disability insurance process was and found out that at the very least, I would be eligible for payments five months AFTER diagnosis as long as I am no longer able to do my job. That time frame is not automatic and does not include the time to apply, fill out forms, respond to requests for more information from my doctor, etc. In reality, depending on my health, I may be out of work for a year before receiving any payments and even if they include back pay to the original diagnosis date ... that is terrifying to me. I don't have any long or short disability payment insurance with my job.
A co-worker I've confided in feels I should set up a GoFundMe account to help with financial needs. I'm struggling with that because I've always been a giver, not an asker. I guess I just figured that this would be a situation where I would go to sleep one night and not wake up. The realization that it could actually be a long, drawn-out process ... a long, drawn-out, expensive process ... is alarming.
But I will take winning lottery numbers if anyone from the future happens to have them.
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In the meantime, I've decided that since it is unlikely I will ever get back to Germany again I found a German restaurant about an hour and a half away, as well as an Aldi's store near it. I have calendared trips over that way about once a month starting in September as long as I can make the drive. Just in time for Octoberfest and Christmas!
The West Virginia State Fair is coming in August, and I was considering going, however, crowds make me uncomfortable these days with so many people being anti-vax anti-mask anti-social distancing ... I think I will probably wind up staying home and watching Charlotte's Web on a streaming movie channel or something. Buy a bag of cotton candy at the grocery store, pop up extra buttered popcorn, cook up corn dogs, funnel cakes, and get me a big glass of ice-cold lemonade. If I really have to have the whole state fair experience, I can order [these candles from Etsy that smell like cow pies and pig farts].
Candles that smell like cow pie and pig farts? Pass.
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck with the medical mayhem. Lots and lots of it.
LOL - the pig farts actually smell like bacon, and the cow pies like fresh cut grass.
DeleteI must say that I find your social and medical security confusing in the extreme - and exhausting too. I think it's not the right time to make people economically nervous when they are ill, even seriously so. I hope for a good solution for you.
ReplyDeleteIt is extremely overwhelming and exhausting. I've decided to just stop worrying about it. I'll open and organize the bills, but most likely will be filing bankruptcy at the beginning of next year if the final medical diagnosis appears to give me more time than just this year.
DeleteHow i wish i could do something to help. It is frustrating, and i do understand. As a self employed janitor who cleans people's homes and offices, i have no safety net, no paid days off, no sick leave, and no way to get an income if i become ill or disabled. It's horrible working hard your whole life only to see it come to nothing because of illness.
ReplyDeleteYes, you do know exactly. It is a frightning prospect. This country needs to become more forward thinking with taking care of those in our positions. The Affordable Care Act really didn't make insurance affordable.
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