One last word for October ...

Domestic violence and abuse can happen in ANY relationship.  Not just between married couples.  But inside of families too.  Parents to children.  Children to parents.  Between siblings.  Between couples that are dating.  Couples that are living together.  Between co-workers.  Supervisors to subordinates.  Subordinates to supervisors.  

Any of the behaviors listed below are ABUSIVE and should not be tolerated.

Get help.  Whether you are the abused, or the abuser.  Get help.

October has been Domestic Violence Awareness month.  Violence and abuse are not always visible, and often the unseen bruises and scars (words, emotions, psychological) are the deepest.  

If you or someone you know is experiencing any type of abuse, there is help.  Please visit the [National Coalition Against Domestic Violence resources page].

Surfacing ...

    Death can sometimes draw families closer together.  But not always, and not all family members.  It can bring out the ugliness that we've chosen to ignore until there is no choice but to confront it and end it.  For our own safety and peace of mind.

    The last twelve days have been mind-boggling in the amount of unnecessary anger and hatred coming from one such family member.  And overwhelmingly sad in how much that person, and immediate family, will miss out on because of ties being severed as a result.

  Life is short.  Unmercifully so at times.  Fortunately, a family doesn't always have to be who we are born into, but who we choose to surround ourselves with.  For that, we can make healthier choices.

  I have to go back to my photos to remember what I've been doing lately.  Most of it has not been photo-worthy.  The weather has gotten cold, trees are changing color and losing their leaves.  On a recent cold, windy, and rainy day Lucy (birthday girl turned 5 on the 1st of October) had the fuzzy snuggle plan down pat.

   Last night at Bible Study I got some gorgeous green tomatoes, and plan on making fried green tomatoes as soon as I can get some breadcrumbs ... or may make some of my own with the last few pieces of whole grain bread I have.  I've never had fried green tomatoes, but remember that my Uncle Ron when he came to visit in Florida before my father died would want to go to a specific "hole-in-the-wall" local restaurant for theirs because they were the best he'd ever had.  I will think of him when making mine.

  A few weeks ago (before the recent drama llama) I went to a Farmer's Market in Lewisburg with a friend and got a beautiful pint of "Lion's Mane" mushrooms, and fresh basil.  The mushrooms I sliced, sauteed in butter, and devoured.  They had the taste and texture of lobster ... and much less expensive.  The basil I chopped and froze with olive oil to use later.

  With the colder weather, I'm keeping my toes warmer, running the thermostat a little lower to keep the bill down, and snuggling with the furkids on the sofa and in bed.  Now that my office has been moved upstairs, I think that it will be a much better winter for me and my toes.

   I did get some mums and Halloween decor put up, but not much.  This will be my first Halloween here, so I'm hoping for lots of little costumed trick-or-treaters to share photos of on Sunday.

   I'm also transitioning some of my plants from the kitchen window (coldest room in the house during the winter) to the office upstairs, and have been working on a mini signpost for my succulent garden.

   Healthwise ... I'm doing better.  I still need to get a new CT scan to check my lymph nodes before anyone says I'm cancer-free.  There were a few miscommunications on getting that done this month, but I'm claiming that by the end of the year I will be healthier than when I started the year, and cancer-free.

   I've made many new friends/family lately at church and with a creative artist group of people.  I'm so blessed by all of them.  I had signed up for a watercolor class before Mom passed with the intention of sending her the cards I made for Christmas, but instead just used the time to get out of my box and laugh.  November, however, will be some keeper projects including alcohol ink Christmas baubles, and another watercolor class.

Sibyl ...

   She was born 28 Sept 1941 in Detroit, Michigan area, the third daughter of Edward & Ruth.

   After she graduated high school, she married Rodger and began the life of a military officer's wife, moving about every two to four years.

    Her first daughter, (me!), was born in May 1962 when she was 21 years old, followed a year and a half later by her only son, Ken, in December 1963.

   She loved the years they spent in Germany, from 1969 to 1972.  In those years, she traveled to other countries with the Officer's Wives Club, and as a family to places like Nice, France where she was able to meet a high school pen pal, Genevieve, and her family.  Salzburg, Austria.  Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

   Sibyl loved painting, taking watercolor, pastels, and charcoal classes.  Every year she would paint the front window of their apartment in Germany for Halloween and Christmas.  She also loved to sew, and would often sew clothes for me, and matching dresses for the two of us.  She loved volksmarches and the opportunities they offered to see more towns and countrysides in Germany, and German wine and food.

  In 1977, she and Rodger divorced in Florida, and later that year, she married Eric, becoming a stepmother to Heather, and in January 1980, mother to a second daughter, Kat.

  She, Eric, and Kat moved to Scotland in 1984 where she began another love of hers ... cooking and entertaining.  Sibyl ran the Old Bridge Inn pub, and later a fish farm shop at a privately owned estate in Aviemore with fresh and smoked fish for sale and an assortment of gifts.  After they moved to Poolewe, she ran the Corriness Pub & Restaurant for several years where she made some of her "American" favorite meals to serve the unsuspecting Scots.

  Sibyl and Kat returned to the United States in 1994 following her divorce from Eric.  Eventually, they settled in Mocksville, North Carolina where she remained until her death on 16 October 2021.

   She became active with a church and loved sending thoughtful greeting cards to her family, friends, and church members.  She had a kind heart with a smile that would brighten any dark day, a hearty laugh, a good sense of humor, and was loved by everyone.  She never met a stranger who didn't quickly become a friend.  More than once when she lived in Scotland, she would entrust a traveling tourist with gifts to mail to me once they returned to the states.

   Waiting to greet her upon her arrival in Heaven were her parents, an older sister Sue, younger brother Brian, and many people she loved in her life.

   She is survived by her companion kitty Pepper; her sister, Nancy; me and my furkids; Ken, his wife Jo, and granddaughters Tammy (mother is Sandra) and Abi (mother is Jo); Kat, her hubs Luke, grandsons Ethan and Jordon; Heather, her hubs Robert, granddaughter Isabella; grandson Dan (mother is Joanne), a great-granddaughter Aura; and too many nieces and nephews to list.  

   Mom will be missed greatly by everyone who knew her, and by those who hadn't yet been blessed by her presence.  A small memorial will be planned for her birthday in 2022 to scatter her ashes.  If you wish to honor her memory before then, please donate to a local cat rescue organization.

Snug as a Bug in a Rug

   I use, and highly recommend, an app on my phone called [Snug Safe] that is free to use, although they do have a paid plan if you want additional options.

   Essentially, it works to give seniors (actually anyone can use it) and their loved ones a sense of security.  I would also highly recommend it for any person who lives in a potentially dangerous situation ~ like someone in a domestic violence situation.  It's also perfect for someone who may be disabled and is alone for part of the day, for example, if their significant other works during the day or at night.  

    There are so many different scenarios where it can be used.  College students away from home and living in a dorm.  People who work in a building where they are the only ones on the floor or in the building.  Any time or place where someone feels they need that extra sense of security either for themselves or someone they care about. I use it mostly because of my health issues this year, and the fact that I have diabetes.

   You set the time you want to check-in, and if you miss that check-in time, they will (free) send an email to your emergency contact letting them know you've missed your check-in.  They can also (paid) give you a call to make sure you are okay, and send someone to check on you if you need it, or don't respond to the call.

   You can pause it for a time if you are going on to be away from your phone, or with other people who can help if you need it.

    We've determined that my mom died sometime Saturday based on where she was found and what she was wearing.  She last spoke to her friend, Judy, on Friday night around 11p.  While Judy tried to call her several times during the day with no response, she didn't actually report her concerns to the senior living center's management until late Saturday night (no blame here, just facts).  

    I do not believe that she could have been saved if she had been found earlier.  But I do believe that if she had used Snug and missed her check-in, we would have been notified sooner and some of her end-of-life wishes could have been carried out as she had arranged them.  Instead, we had a last-minute scramble to find another body donation organization that was willing to take her because EMS (in error) reported her time of death as Friday night at 11p.  Pretty sure that if Judy heard her die while they were talking, she would not have waited 24 hours to get someone to check on her.

   Give yourself and the ones you care about a little extra hug ... and Snug.  You can download it from Google Play or any other app store you use.  This has not been a paid advertisement.  I'm just a very satisfied client.