WfW ~ bad ideas vs good ideas

 The original Words for Wednesday was begun by Delores and eventually taken over by a moveable feast of participants when Delores had computer troubles.  The aim of the words is to encourage us to write.   A story, a poem, whatever comes to mind.  If you are posting an entry on your own blog, please let us know so we can come along to read it and add a few encouraging words.  This month the words/prompts are supplied by River at Drifting Through Life and can be found right [here.]

  I had a brief conversation with my cousin on Instagram last night which was followed by a conversation with the Good Me on my right shoulder and the Bad Me on my left shoulder.

  The convo with my cousin was regarding dating.  I'd kinda-sorta-almost-in-a-way like to date again.  But it is so hard to get back into that "game" after being burnt so badly in the past.  There are times when I still feel the raw blisters on my heart.  Then there is the whole "where do I start" part of it because I don't get out much at all.  I work from home.  I don't attend a regular church anymore, and never liked using a church as a way to meet eligible men anyway.   

  My cousin suggested using a dating app, which is then where the Good/Bad Mes had their conversation:

  Good Me:  "That's not a good idea."

  Bad Me:  "I know, but it's the best bad idea I've got."

  I decided to just jump into the fire with an app called "Coffee Meets Bagels" after realizing that the cost of an eHarmoney account was just totally insane.  Downloaded the app, paid for a month, and then promptly shared dating nightmare videos with my cousin.  

  Had nightmares when I fell asleep.  Woke up this morning and promptly canceled my subscription.  But now I have a month paid for, and likely won't get any matches because they don't actually have any members in my area.

  Wish I'd been able to know that before I signed up and wasted $15.89.

  So instead of hoping for someone to send me antique pink roses, I'm going to just grow my own yellow ones whenever I find my forever home.   I'll take time to actually smell them too.  Maybe even one day I will again visit a famous (or random) fountain in Germany and toss in some coins for luck.

  In the meantime, I'm craving some peanut butter pumpkins and trying to keep from shouting at the walls because of another water leak in this slum of a house I was foolish enough to move into.  The illegally installed-non-permitted downstairs bathroom is leaking, and we are stuck with nowhere else to move to because of the lack of available and affordable housing here.  Even if I were to abandon my four roommates and try to find a place alone, I have no options.

  Moving to another state is beginning to sound more and more like a good idea.