New Year's Eve ...

Checklist:  

1. Feed the neglected German Shepard, Gus, across the street some leftover turkey.  Check.
2. Play a game of frisbee fetch with Gus. Check.
3. Play a game of tug with Gus and his [gross] green snorting pig toy.  Check.
4. Wash hands and arms twice in hot water. Check.
5. Pour my first mug of coffee.  Check.
6. Appease grumpy [jealous] Charlie with a game of monkey-man fetch and chase.  Chick.
7. Realize I left the turkey in the laundry room.  Get it and put it back in the refrigerator.  Check.
8. Be determined to blog daily in the new year and participate in more writing challenges like Words on Wednesdays.
9. Be determined to finish all my current craft projects before starting or buying new ones:
• Yarn and vintage jewelry hoop weaving.
• Polymer clay gnomes for my moss garden terrariums.
• String crystals for the upcycled brass ceiling fan fixture yard art.
• Homemade Christmas cards to send out in 2023 since that project didn't get finished in time for 2022.
10. Be determined to read one [old-fashioned, page-turning] book a month in the new year as part of my break from social media and technology when I get off work in the evenings.
11. Realize that I can't stand the clock in the living room with the dying battery displaying the wrong time just one more minute and get the ladder from the laundry room to change the battery.  Check.
12. Realize if I want to get serious about getting anything else done today, I need to get off the couch and move my behind.

2022 has been a year of ups and downs and more busy-ness than I'm used to but in good ways.  2021 was busy with illnesses and doctor appointments.  2022 was church activities and events.  I want 2023 to be just as busy as 2022, but in ways of service in the church, travel to see family and friends utilizing Amtrak trains, becoming more deliberate and organized in my purchases and activities.  I have a new long term goal for semi-retirement:  I'm looking into degree study programs in Germany where I can be an expat for a year and learn something new and fun.  Oddly enough I'm finding it difficult to find a degree program in sitting by the river and watching the boats go by.  

I'll keep looking, tho.

'Twas ...

’Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all through the houses
Not a creature was stirring, not even the mouses;

Tho to be perfectly fair,

they'd never breathed air

full of fabric and fluff

and catnip were stuffed.

The stockings were hung on the plant shelves with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The dog and cats had all made a list,

impatiently I waited, and silently wished

that St. Amazon soon would deliver their gifts

forget old St. Nicholas and those childhood myths.

The fur-kids have nestled all snug in MY bed,
While visions of treats danced in their heads;
And me in flannels, and thick winter sox,
Had just settled down with my latest craft box.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sofa to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash,
Peeking through the curtains saw a blue light that did flash.

At first, I did think, 'twas the neighbors again,

Fighting and arguing as if they could win.

The street light did shine on the last fallen leaves,
Gave the luster of mid-day as a car slowly weaves.
When, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a bright red fire truck, and sounds of great cheer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
For a moment I thought that it might be St. Nick.

Shaking my head, I certainly did ponder

My thoughts briefly wandered.

Could St. Nick have been real?

More than just marketing appeal?

More rapidly than snails soon more vehicles came,
And I waved, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Hi, Jessie! hi, Noah and Marcus, Parrish and Will!"
TRC's worship band, Redemption Alive was singing with hope to instill!

They were followed by floats filled with children galore!
Singing carols, waving, tossing candy, and more. 
Invitations to come to their Christmas play,

Where the story of Jesus' birth in a manger He lay.

From His birth to His death, and the sacrifice made,

The true meaning of Christmas is for our sins He did trade.

The Word came to life, and from Heaven, He came,

because God's love for us never did wane.

He became hated, beaten, and killed on the cross.

He knew what his future held, He knew the cost.

Yet He chose to be the lamb, our precious sacrifice.

No matter our sins, he was willing to pay the price.

His love covers us all, and forgives all our sins,

Just open your hearts and welcome Him in.

Free will we have, but He gives us so much.

Won't you give Him a chance, and welcome His touch?

"Dear Lord Jesus, I need You.  Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.  I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord.  Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life."

A Letter to My Much Younger Self

 

Dear Me,

     Dear me, dear me, dear me.  You've carried so much guilt and regret through life, much of it not yours to carry.  

     This is the year that you turned 60, or as Mom would have reminded you on our birthday "It is the beginning of your 61st year."  Regardless of whether I'm now 60 or on the precipice of 61, it is an age I never thought I would reach for many reasons, at many ages.  But I'm here now, and I've learned much.

     First, stop regretting saying no to Colorado and Jay when he asked you some 40 years ago.  Honestly.  If he truly loved you and was the "right one" (as if there is such a man) he would have come back and fought for you.  He would not have simply disappeared into the night.  Don't waste your time looking for him.  He wasn't "the one."

     I could tell you to not marry this one or that one, but I won't.  Each marriage, each wrong choice, and each bad decision came with lessons and positives.  You gained more than you lost with each of them.  Remember that.  They made you who you are today.  Stronger.  Wiser.  Resilient.  And you like who you are today.  But I will tell you this:

     Sex does not equal love.  Period.  Just because some guy wants in your pants, does not mean he loves you.  I get that you didn't have good examples of what love was.  Or what a good marriage is. But you won't find love in someone's bed or the back seat of a car.  Love yourself.  Love God.  Don't look for Dad's love and acceptance in someone else, you won't ever find it.  

     You are not responsible for someone else's happiness, or bad decisions, or wrong choices.  Don't carry the responsibility for what they did and blamed on you.  Don't let yourself be gas-lighted.  You also cannot change someone else with love.  No matter how much you love them.  The only person you can ever change is yourself.  That might mean you leave sooner, or never marry them, but so be it.  Make that decision with more wisdom and less guilt.

     Just don't leave before you get a certain dog you named Trooper.  He was the one true love of your life.  The right one.  A soul dog if there ever was one.

     Moisturize more.  Especially your neck and upper chest.   Aging sucks and that area shows it the most these days.

     Wear sunscreen.  ALWAYS!  Everywhere!  Get in that habit early.  Like when you are 10 and move to Arizona.  Don't go to that wave pool and get 2nd-degree sunburn on your back.  Demand that Mom put sunscreen on your back or wear white t-shirts to the pool.  You will thank me for it later.  Skin cancer, even basal cell, is no laughing matter.  Although pretending to be a pirate for a few weeks when you had that three-inch incision on your cheek was pretty funny.

     Speaking of that ... don't let society dictate your self-image.  Or insecure, narcissistic, manipulative, horses' hind ends.  You. Are. Beautiful. Just. As. You. Are.  And don't cry and freak out when you find that first white hair.  Don't color your hair either.  One day you will appreciate how beautiful your strawberry blonde becomes when it is more blonde than strawberry.

     Be true to yourself.  Respect yourself even when others don't.  Wait for love.  Hold on to your faith.  It will be there when no one else is, and never let you down.  You will find that family you've always wanted in a good church.  Don't give up hope for that.  I know because I found it now.

                                                                     Love,  Me.