 |
| Not content with getting a toy, out of the box, Oliver had to pull all the toys out. |
The rest of the week was quiet and uneventful, even Halloween. No trick-or-treaters here. I got my front herb garden cut back and ready for winter. Basil is the only one I'm not sure will come back next year. The rest of them (rosemary, German thyme, lemon thyme, sage and oregano) all came back this year, stronger than ever. But I didn't plant any basil until this summer. I know in some climates it is a perennial but think it might be an annual in my zone.
I signed up for a local Methodist church's Christmas event this afternoon called "Christmas Mother." It is geared towards seniors, and also single parents, and parents in need. I'm not sure exactly why I signed up since I haven't really celebrated Christmas in several years, since leaving the cult church in WV, and honestly, I've not missed it. What I've missed is Christmas in Germany. That's the "season" I've missed. The markets, the smells, the flavors, the joy. It's not something I can easily describe because it is a feeling, and not a feeling I've ever felt here in the states. We make Christmas so commercialized I saw it sneaking into stores and onto shelves the weeks before Halloween.
When they asked what I wanted for Christmas, I was unprepared. I was happy enough to learn that I'd get a $50 grocery store gift card. My "wants" and "needs" are miles apart at this time in my life. I don't even dare to think of things I want anymore. I can't afford to. I told her cat litter, and she looked at me a little oddly. "Really?" "Yes, the clumping slide out kind." "Isn't there anything else you want?" "I guess watercolor paints. Maybe a Walmart gift card for toiletries." How does one answer a question like that? It made me feel rather old and Scrooge-y or Grinch-y. How does one fill out a Christmas wish list when there are no more Sears Christmas catalogs to turn down page corners and put a little star by a particular item? "I'd like a job, please. And a stair railing for my front porch steps, and a better, metal one along the house for the back steps to the basement. Even with a new knee, I'm afraid of falling on both sets of stairs. I'd like new thermal curtains for my two rooms with seven windows ~ a neutral stone beige color, 63" long, with grommets ~ to help keep my house warmer in the winter months. Walmart has them for $14 a pair. Maybe seven is too many to ask for, so I'd be thrilled with just two sets for the bedroom." Where does one draw the line between wants and needs, and how does someone who spent more than one (marriage) lifetime taking care of others learn that it's okay to ask for something for myself or something whimsical. "Could I sign up instead for someone who can dig a proper French drain on the side of my house that floods the basement when it rains?"
I'm sincerely not trying to be flip and really truly am grateful for even the smallest amount of assistance they can offer (the grocery gift card will be a great help alone because $25 in food stamps doesn't go far in this economy). I know that this is probably a lesson for me to learn in how to be more whimsical and less old biddy. There is a woman on Instagram I follow (@undercoverkindnessgnomes) who reminds me that when I write up my 13 Wishes (@vanessaandheriphone) in December for the Universe that I need to be less practical and more whimsical. Especially since last December's wishes were all way too practical and zero have been granted so far this year.
Whimsy is my 2027 word of the year ... I'm going to start practicing it now ... stay fun out there ~ 💜Ci
No comments:
Post a Comment
All comments are moderated ... so be nice or be gone.