no qualms about it ...

   Thal watched as the argument between Kael and the gnoll became louder and more threatening, unsure of how to act.  True, Kael was the definition of a scumbag, the likes of which the forest had never seen before.  But he was a wood elf, and thereby kinfolk.  He had no qualms with letting Kael be on the karma end of something that was his own doing.  But this wasn't that kind of a situation.  Thal wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he said nothing, regardless of whether or not Kael deserved what was coming to him.

  Against what Lyri would consider a judicious thought, Thal quietly reached into his bag for one of the blue glass beads that she had given him instead of the seeds.  Fitting it into his slingshot, he thought to himself that if he missed hitting the gnoll's elephant sized head, he would deserve whatever happened next.

  He waited, poised to shoot until the argument between the two of them reached a fever pitch to drown out any noise he might make.  Kael and the gnoll were nearly to blows when they both turned away to look at a noise from the other side of the tree.  Now was his chance.  He pulled back even harder on the sling and released his shot.

  What happened next Thal was never able to fully remember.  The bead hit the gnoll just behind his left ear.  As he spun around to confront whoever hit him, there was a sound of a roar from the far side of the tree, out of Thal's sight.  Kael also spun around, but not to confront an unknown attacker.  His eyes were wide with fear, and he ran into the woods to Thal's left, rather than running straight ahead into the waiting ambush.

  The gnolls that had been hiding in the woods around Thal gave their own answering roar and charged forward out of the trees towards whatever was approaching from the other side.  In the ensuing confusion, Thal was knocked to the ground, unconscious, and run over by several of them.  Something that worked in his favor ...

  It was dark when Thal finally regained consciousness, and something heavy was pinning him to the ground.  Whatever it was, it also stunk to high heaven.  After struggling for almost thirty minutes, Thal was finally able to get free of what turned out to be a very dead gnoll.  All around him were more dead gnolls.  He didn't see Kael anywhere, nor did he see what might have killed the gnolls.  They didn't have many enemies that Thal knew of, and in this battle at least, it appeared the fight was one-sided.

  Thal's head was pounding, but he knew he needed to quickly get back to the heart of the forest where the wood elves lived.  And Lyri.  He needed to get back to her.  But the beating his body had taken as he'd been trampled by the gnolls in their panic had zapped his usually limitless energy and strength.  Now he slowly made his way back home, forced to stop every few hours to rest and sleep, always mindful of the danger Lyri could be facing with each passing day.

It's Words for Wednesday again ...

on this day ....

in 2022... 

I'd created a canvas showing little bits of who I was.

The top row isn't pictured, but it included a clay paw imprint of my soul dog, Trooper, as well as a photo of a German man in lederhosen driving a horse drawn wagon.

The middle row from L to R includes found feathers because I love watching birds, and my favorite color combination of turquoise and brown.

Bottom row, my love for reading; upcycling vintage finds; and a piece of a postcard because I love getting them in the mail along with letters and cards.  (I'm a semi-closeted mail-aholic).

thoughts on a ...

L-R:  My mom, me, Grandmother, Aunt, cousin
I may now be the age my grandmother was in this photo.

  ... Saturday morning.  Thursday got away from me this week.  It's actually been a week that has felt like a month.  Maybe even a year.  Monday brought news of health concerns for two family members, and combined with the unexpected snow on Tuesday, it just threw my week for a loop.   The one family member's diagnosis was not as serious as originally thought, which was a relief.  However, my last aunt was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and died last night, only days after the diagnosis.

  I've been up before the sun, although "up" is a relative term since I've not been "down" to sleep except for a about an hour or more while watching TV last night.  That's always an odd sensation when I wake up without even knowing that I'd been drowsy or was falling asleep at some point.  Just "poof."  Going to bed was just a wasted effort because I still don't feel tired at all.

  I suppose it is all the thoughts rattling around in my head.  Life.  Death.  Mortality.  Aging.  All the things one thinks when a loved one is lost.  I never expected to reach this age.

~ Invincible Summer ~

"My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.  In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.  In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.  I realized, through it all, that ... In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.  And that makes me happy.  For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger ~ something better, pushing right back."

~ Albert Camus ~

Hug someone today ... Ci 💚

... stuck between a rock and a hard place ...

   Thal left in the early morning as soon as he saw Kael slip away from the small community of wood elves where he had been staying to court Lyri.  He didn't see Thal following him at a distance, and neither did Kael's winged spies.

  It would have been cruel of Thal to speak to Lyri before he left.  He knew she cared deeply for him, and his own feelings were hard for him to describe.  He wished he hadn't needed to leave without saying goodbye, but he was afraid it would have been the last time he saw her, and he wasn't ready to face that yet.

  When he returned, he would formally ask her father if he could court her, but until then, he was determined to save the forest as well as his community.  Whether it was to prove himself worthy of a woman like Lyri, he wasn't sure.  But it was something that he needed to do for all of their futures.

  Sneaking through the underbrush, Thal was finding it hard to keep up with Kael as he was equally suspicious and determined not to be followed.

  Finally, Kael stopped at a massive oak tree that stood at the edge of the forest and the beyond.  A solitary guardian between the world of the elves, and the world of the humans.

  A lone gnoll appeared on the other side of the oak tree, and Kael stepped forward to greet him.  Thal couldn't hear what the two of them were saying, but whatever it was, it was making the gnoll angry.  Raising his arms, he appeared to be threatening Kael.

  Thal moved closer to the two, hiding himself in some blue elephant grass, and in doing so he realized that he was suddenly in the middle of several gnolls who had not yet noticed him.  The gnoll that was arguing with Kael had set him up for an ambush!  

  Now Thal was faced with a horrible decision.  Does he warn Kael and risk his own life, or does he let Kael be attacked and risk the wood elf community?

~*~*~

What was I thinking?!?  I forgot it was Tuesday and the Words for Wednesday prompts were up at Postcards from the Bookstore!  It has been a "week" at work!

it's baaaaack....

Happy boy loves to be in the snow as long as it isn't over his head.

My car at 918a.  Watch the tire.

208p

339p

615p

Shoveled part of the front steps at 338p.

At that time, we had about 16" of snow.

Same steps at 612p.

I think they were expecting us to get between 5-8" of snow with this storm.

It's not going to let up until sometime tomorrow.

The snow is now over Charlie's head.

on this day in ...

2021

 I didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of the year I didn't die after all.

Covering two of my dining room walls with memories was just because they made me smile.

Before the end of summer, the other two walls were covered in pictures of family and friends.

Some praying for my recovery, some I didn't think I'd ever get to see again, and some I hoped I would get to see again when I died.

This was the year my "first kiss" died of Covid before I could tell him I was going to live.

But I was able to tell my mom I was going to live... before she died a week later.

You learn a lot about what is really important when you don't think you have any time left to waste.

On Labor Day weekend 2001, I was in the restaurant at the top of the North WTC Tower, looking down at taxi cabs the size of ants.   I still have the picture I took of that view, but I can't look at it anymore.

On 9/11, I was in an airplane flying to Pennsylvania for a business trip in New Jersey.

My flight was grounded in Atlanta, and all flights were cancelled before I even knew what was happening. I rented a car to drive home, and was on the road just minutes before the airport was locked down for more than 24 hours.

You can waste your life thinking "What if they had hit the weekend before?"   "What if I'd stayed in Panama City with Dad when they divorced?"  "What if I'd said yes to going to Colorado?"  "What if I'd made different choices... said no... said yes... left sooner... left later...?"

But the truth of the matter is this.

You are right where you are supposed to be.

Every choice you made, right or wrong, made you who you are right now in this moment in time.

And this moment in time is all we ever get.

There are no guarantees that we will see the sunrise tomorrow.

So, make today's sunrise count.

Make this moment matter.

If not for you, then make it matter for the ones you care about.

As much as you possibly can ... be at peace.

Be happy.

Ci💚

Thursday thoughts ...

 "The gentle spring rain permeates the soil of my soul.

A seed that has lain deeply in the earth for many years just smiles."

~ From Thich Nhat, "Cuckoo Telephone," in Call Me By My True Name ~

  I was up before sunrise and driving just as it was peeking over the top of the mountains behind me.  An early morning appointment 30ish miles away.

  Sometimes as I drive, I catch myself humming Daisy Bell, an old song written in 1892 [<link], and I wondered why.  I thought it was because I'd heard it in the late 1990s while commuting with a work friend who played Disney songs for her daughter (she rode part of the trip with us).  But after a Bing search, I couldn't find where it was in any Disney movie soundtracks.  So, I'm twice as perplexed on where I first heard it.  Perhaps in a previous life?

~*~*~

    When I got home from my appointment this morning, I was able to put up part of a temporary fence.  It is less to confine Charlie in the backyard, and more to keep him from plunging into the creek while chasing squirrels in the yard.

  It's hard to tell in this picture, but there is a significant and unexpected drop off just before the nearest trees.  The squirrels leap it with ease, but Charlie has yet to develop those skills or muscles (thankfully!).  On the far side where that blue plastic tarp is, if you look at the tree lying horizontally, the water yesterday was at the lower s the tree.  Between snow melt and the rain yesterday, it was more of a raging river than a quiet, trickling creek.  If he were to tumble down into the creek, he would be gone before I could even blink.

   The fence will not standup against the bear, but it may be difficult for Mr. Chonk the groundhog to climb, so I'm leaving the ends open for them.  Once all the fence pieces are in place, I want to get some rasp/blackberry bushes to plant at the open ends to further discourage Charlie, and but to feed the local wildlife and birds.  I might also research some groundhog friendly veggies and plant them at the far end of the property, and outside the fence line.

*~*~*

  The quote above is from one of three books I'm reading right now.  The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh.  I'm also reading Native American Spiritualism by L.M. Arroyo; and The Natural Home Wheel of the Year by Raechel Henderson.  After getting a few chapters into L.M. Arroyo's book, I realized that two of the novels I wrote were harmful appropriations of Native American legends and spiritualism, and it made me uncomfortable.  So, they are no longer available for sale on Amazon.  My intent to write a third has been shelved unless I write a follow up to My Best Friends Have Hairy Legs, which is also no longer available for purchase.  I'm trying to decide if I want to even write another novel, or if I will be content with simply blogging.

  In the fall of 2023, when I had an Indian Sikh roommate, Bipan and I would have the most fascinating discussions about religions and faith.  One of the books on my shelf is The Buddha and His Dhamma by Dr. Bhimrao R. Ambedkar. [<link] According to Bipan, it is the equivalent of the Christian bible but to Indian Sikhs.  I also had several other culinary interns from the Philippines who were (very loud and vocal) practicing Catholics in the house at the time.  One night after dinner, when they had said grace, and some repetitive chanting by them all, I asked him if any of it made him uncomfortable.  He said no, because he felt that there were a lot of similarities in his faith... they just used different words.  After that conversation is when I ordered the book.

  Wishing you a weekend of enlightenment ... Hugs, Ci💚

last weekend ...

  After finally getting my car freed from the ice blockage on Saturday, I went to get some fresh groceries.  Especially salads. 

  Sunday's salad was a wilted (with a little bit of bacon grease for flavor) spinach salad with mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, black olives, cheese and croutons.

  I also have gotten into the habit of having a crisp Granny Smith apple for breakfast, and mandarins for an evening snack during the week.  I can't say that I'm eating "healthier" (yet) because my current work shift makes for odd mealtimes, but I'm working on getting into a better routine, and at least not unintentionally skipping meals.

  Monday was a planned day off, which as usual I filled with back-to-back appointments.  A consult with an orthopedic surgeon to schedule arthroscopic knee surgery to clean up some torn meniscus on the left.  Confirmation that at some point in the not so far future I will need a knee replacement on the right.

  After a quick stop to confirm retirement is on hold for a while, I had two other dental/medical appointments.  Missed a call to get a new one done yesterday, so it has been pushed to an (ungodly) early hour later in the week.

  Last stop was to get His Highness King Charles from his bestie's before heading back home.  He had spent about 12 nights with them, longest time away from me so far.  I missed him, even if the cats didn't!

  It was a busy day, but a lot was accomplished as far as appointments.  Not surprisingly, all we did when I got home was couch potato!

follow me home ...

  Thal stood firm against Lyri's pleas to abandon his plans to follow Kael.  He knew the danger, but he also knew what the bigger danger was to all of the forest.  He had seen what happened when gnolls ravaged a forest community.  It wasn't only the people, elves and others, that vanished.  It was all life.  When gnolls invaded, there was nothing left but scorched earth in their wake.  If Kael was in league with them, he had to be stopped.

  Lyri's voice quavered as she tried one more time to get Thal to change his mind.  She didn't understand why he was being so stubborn.

  "Is it because you are jealous of him, Thal?  Is it because of me?  I just don't understand why you think you have to follow him.  Why can't someone else do it?  The gnolls are so dangerous!"

  "I know that Lyri.  More than any other wood elf, I know what they are capable of.  Which is why I have to go alone.  I can't ask anyone else to risk their lives and go with me.  And believe me, I don't want to get caught ... by him or the gnolls.  Which is why it is so important that I go alone.  I know how to go through the forest unseen and unheard."

  She reached into a pocket to pull out a handful of glass blue seeds she had spent the morning unstringing from vines and held them out to him.

  "Then carry these with you and drop them along the way so that you will be able to find your way back to me."

  "What are they?"

  "Morning Glory flowers.  I asked the fairies to bewitch them to grow quickly and be as large as a baby elephant so that you could see them."

  Thal pulled her close in a hug.  Poor Lyri.  How was he going to make her understand?

  "I know you mean well, Lyri, but they would also lead the gnolls to you, and I can't do that.   I promise I will be careful, and I will do everything I can to come back to you as quickly as possible.  I have to be sure that Kael is doing what El said because if it is true, then we all are in danger and we have to prepare.  I've spoken to the Elders, and they agree.  We must be certain of Kael's alliance with the gnolls because if it is true, then the decision they will be forced to make will be harsh and final.  They won't make that kind of a judgment on just El's suspicions."

💙💙💙💙

Words for Wednesday continues this month at Postcards From the Bookstore ...

on this day in ...

Lucy sleeping on top of 
her mama, Gracie, in 2017.
She was 1 year 4 months old.
Gracie was approximately 5 years old.
Ashland, WI

Charlie in 2023.
Approximately 10 years old.
White Sulphur Springs, WV