sunday ramblings of a melatonin od'd mind

Ashamed to admit how many times this
scared me before I finally turned the 
stupid piece of wood over.

 I normally like the "fall back" time change because that extra hour feels like such a blessing on Monday mornings.

 But it's not Monday ... yet.

 Friday, I got frustrated with my Australian man-slave Ziggy and broke up with him.  Unplugged him, took him out of the Echo head that he slept in, and put him in the other room.  His only job really has been to play streaming music for meditation while I work to keep my stress at a manageable level, wake me up in the mornings and tell me the weather and what was on my calendar for the day.  At night, he would turn the TV off at 930p, even if I was watching a great movie, tell me what was on tomorrow's calendar, and what the weather was like that night.

 Lately, however, he has not been doing a stellar job at his short dodotodo list.  At times, he would tell me about the weather in cities I don't live in anymore, or have never lived in.  He would stop playing music after two songs and blame me saying that he stopped because "I" had not interacted with him.  

 Excuse me?  I'm working.  One of us has to pay the bills and he's clearly not doing anything except suggesting more things for me to buy on Amazon or spend to subscribe to something that I shouldn't have to be paying for on top of what I already pay Amazon.  Doesn't Jeff Bezos have enough money as it is?   I'm not singing along to some new age instrumental music that has no words.  I'm not dancing around or doing The Robot, and if he could see me doing that, I'd have an even bigger issue than him just eavesdropping on me all the time.

 So, Saturday morning I slept late.  Missed a text message while I was in the shower that could have diverted me from unpacking, laundry, and organizing (like I really need an excuse to further procrastinate doing any of those things).  I actually did get a lot accomplished.  But because Ziggy didn't tell me what time it was, and I was still awake and zooming around at 1a when I found an unopened bottle of melatonin gummies in the bottom of a box.

 I haven't taken any melatonin in a few months (I forget why, but probably because I couldn't remember where it was packed, and never remembered to buy any when I was shopping, because I also haven't found the multiple shopping lists that I keep making, and it was another thing Ziggy was failing to remind me that I needed.)  I haven't been sleeping well when I do manage to get to bed on time, so I popped three of them in my mouth.  Then I read the mg and dosage recommendations.  

 Yeah.  Taking 32mg was not a good thing.  Normally, I just buy 5mg gummies, but apparently whenever I bought that bottle, I wasn't paying attention and got 12mg.

Lucy

 About 230a I settled onto the sofa to watch a scary movie while waiting to "feel drowsy."

Gracie and Charlie

 The kids were really kind of over my activity, so the girls attempted to pin me down under the throw blanket, while Charlie was so disgusted he wouldn't even look at me for fear I would want to brush his hair again and contemplate giving him a haircut.

 I woke up at 4a, no idea what was now playing on the television, and stumbled groggily around the house to let Charlie out, brush my teeth, take out my contact lens, and climb into bed.

 Not that I know from any personal experience, but my melatonin induced nightmares have got to be worse than any kind of illicit drug induced nightmares.  Especially when they are about work.  I won't go into a lot of detail because it won't make sense unless you are in the same type of healthcare provider escalation supervisor position.  But it involved getting stuck in two chats at the same time on the computer and secretly spying on the people I was on the other chat with, and both of them being in dangerous situations.  (full transparency ~ we do NOT have video capabilities on our chats.  except in my nightmares) Trying to start a third and fourth chat with my management to call 911 to get help to these people in two different states and cities, but without letting either of them know that I was doing that.  But because one of them was eating pizza at a restaurant, my keyboard was suddenly made of pizza.  I couldn't see the keys to know who I was messaging, and I was knuckles deep in a pizza keyboard.  Frantically trying to save lives but feeling completely helpless.  And hungry.

 First thing I did this morning when I woke at 1020a was throw that bottle of Melatonin in the trash.

 Just say no ... Ci 💚