burning embers ...

 

  The sudden nightmares confused her.  Three nights in a row so far, the same theme.

  Losing her "identity."

  A stolen purse and loss of her driver's license and work badge.

  A lost wallet and missing identification.

  The latest one, she was back living at her father's house in Florida, sorting through piles and piles of mail and papers looking for a replacement ID card that can't be found.  Arguing with her father about his lies and deception and how it had affected her.  How the job she had taken at his insistence was one that she hated, and how he had known all along that it would make her unhappy which is why he wanted her to take it.

  Each morning she woke wondering what it all meant.  Why, after all this time was she dreaming of being back at his house, and the hurt that she felt when his ego put her in the middle of his lies to "her."  Why, after all this time was she feeling inadequate, that her job wasn't good enough for his approval ... again.  Why was she suddenly wondering who she was ... weeks away from turning 62, shouldn't she know that by now?

  It was a little late to change direction now.  Her entire future ... retirement anyway ... rested on this job that she was in now.  Regardless of whether or not she was happy in it, she was stuck.  What was she to do?  Risk it all to take a leap of faith that who she was ... what she was ... was a writer?  An author?  A novelist?