... and all before coffee!

   As I've mentioned before, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my weekdays weekends, and I try to make them as productive as possible.  Sometimes foolishly so ...

  Yesterday I was up bright and early and out the door to find more chenille chair pads at Tattered & Worn to finish off my wall.  My coffee was too hot to sip before I got there, so it stayed in the car.  I was surprised and disappointed to find that the booth with the chair pads had sold all of them and rearranged their display so that I got lost trying to find them.  Even more disappointing was the booth that had the $9.99 framed art had packed and moved completely.  I didn't walk away empty-handed, however.  After more than an hour wandering the booths and aisles, my coffee was still too hot to drink [I have a very good go-mug!].

  The weather was gorgeous yesterday, in the 70sF and at Walmart, I picked up a climbing rose bush (the honeysuckle I've been waiting on was out of stock by the time my order was ready to ship), basil, and cilantro plants, and some pots for the kitchen window.  Next year, or perhaps this fall, I want to get an AeroGarden for that window.  Another hour later, between Walmart and Dollar Tree ... my coffee had cooled enough to sip, but not quickly, and by the time I got home to start on my planned projects, I had barely had a full cup of coffee.

  My first project was hiding the ugly job I did wrapping my hot water heater.  It is too close to the walls in the back for me to have gotten the "blanket" around it, so I had to do a "cut and tape" job.  Very ugly.  But one inexpensive curtain rod later, voila!  Ugly no more.

  Resorted my recycling with three new bins now that I know when recycling is actually picked up.  Cleaned cat litter.  Regretted getting new treats for the cats.

  Next was repotting the herbs.  The rose bush was going to wait until Wednesday when I had planned on borrowing a shovel [plans changed today when I bought my own ... before coffee!]  Refilled birdfeeders.   Went to two other stores for cute garden stepping stones.  Remembered I hadn't eaten.  Ate.  Sat outside with Charlie and the cats listening to the birds.  Chased Lucy back to where I could see her.  Three times.  Caught up on my Monday tv shows on Hulu.  Picked up Lucy's toys.  Put up drawer liner peel-and-stick paper on the back wall of the pantry.   Remembered that my knees should have had surgery for torn meniscus three years ago and that they (and my back) are not 18 anymore.  Went to bed early and exhausted.

  Woke to the sound of my phone ringing as Walgreens reminded me (again!) that I had prescriptions to pick up.  It was also raining, the sound of which on the roof made me wish I could sleep all day.  Rushed out (before coffee!) to Walgreens.

  Stopped on the way to take photos of some drenched forsythia.  Funny story about forsythia ... I first saw them as a child (6 or 7 years old) when they were in bloom at our apartment building in Wiesbaden, Germany.   I thought they were called "ForCynthia" and thinking they were gorgeous and my mom would love them, I pulled a huge armful and took them upstairs to her.  She promptly starting sneezing (allergies!) and made me toss them over our 3rd-floor balcony.  I still love them and may get a bush to plant since the honeysuckle fell thru.

  Spring seems to have sprung overnight with trees blooming pink and white all over town.  I picked up a planter of violas yesterday at Walmart for my front stoop that the yellow ones remind me of the gatekeeper on Wizard of Oz.  I first saw that moving when I might have been 3 or 4 and the memory stays with me because of how those flying monkeys terrified me.  We were at my Great-grandma Ruby's house and it was Easter time.  I remember getting in trouble later that afternoon for not taking my nap and watching out the window instead for Peter Cottontail from the song Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity Easters on its way.

  Walgreens had a long line of people wanting to get the COVID vaccine (I'm still waiting on an open appointment window).  Decided to go grocery shopping while waiting for the line to go down.  It was still raining when I finally got home [still no coffee and the sugar-free watermelon Mountain Dew I got before going back to Walgreens was ew gross and no substitute], and shortly after that, I decided that I would go buy a rake and shovel, and other yard & gardening items.  [Oh, and this beautiful hand-decorated birdhouse for my kitchen countertop.]  I didn't want to wait another week to get the rose bush in the ground, and it was a good thing since shortly after I got the rose bush planted, the 200 bulbs I had ordered arrived  [I have no idea why I thought I needed 200 of them for my small front flower garden area, except that I wanted it to explode with color].  

  I did finally have some coffee and am now cooking up food for the next few lunches before signing on for some overtime tonight.  I'm already exhausted, but feel like it has been a very productive two days.

Sunday's Conundrums ...

  A thunderstorm woke me early this morning for a bit, and it has continued to be a wet, semi-dreary day.  You have to know how much I love my dog because we rode with the window down in the truck doing some errands this morning so he could still hang his head out in the rain.

  The blue flowers from earlier in the week turned out to be grape hyacinth, and the buds that I thought were from a larger hyacinth turned out to be star flowers.

  I also have daffodils coming up all over the side yard, and here is a perplexing question that I have pondered for years now.  Daffs are a flowering bulb, so they pretty much have to be intentionally planted.  They can then "naturalize" and spread, but someone has to at least put the first one in the ground.  Right?  So here is what has always confused me... driving down a random road, middle of nowhere, no houses in sight, and then bam!  A daffodil growing just as happy as can be, with no other daffs in view.  How did it get there?  Is there like a daffy fairy running around planting them?  Or did a Higher Power decide, "Yeah, this looks like a good spot to really mess with Cindi's head.  I'll just plant a bulb here."

  Seriously.  How'd it get there?

Wednesday wonders ...

  I should be cleaning and organizing, but today's rainy weather has vanished into the sunshine and upper 60sF temps.   The windows are open, cardinals are singing, and there isn't any breeze.  We are due for rain tomorrow, and it is another workday for me, so perhaps I can clean and organize between phone calls.  Or next winter ...

  Instead, I broke down and bought some potting soil and flower seeds, and filled the square concrete planter recycled from the yard next door with annual and perennial wildflower seeds.  I have no expectations that they will bloom, and if not, will be able to quickly throw in some established plants from a nursery.

  Then I spent the next hour tracking dirt and mud into the house and trying to outsmart the camera on my smartphone so I could use my macro lens attachment. [the camera won]

I'm not sure what these are.  I've never actually seen them this close.  I was tempted to think grape hyacinth, but the yellow center has confused me.

I think this last one may be a full-sized hyacinth.  

Tuesday's treasures

  Charlie had a vet visit yesterday for a booster shot, so I took advantage of being on the other side of the mountain to visit a shop I've been wanting to go to... [Tattered & Worn Antiques]   I wasn't able to stay as long as I liked because Charlie was still in the truck, and while the weather was cool and overcast, I still worried about him even with the windows down.  I know this shop will be somewhere I go frequently (when I have more alone time) for ideas and decor!

  I left with several items, the first was this vintage framed 15.5"x18.5" print, which I love.  Simple.  Decorative frame in pale green with gold highlights.  Beautiful.  And only $9.99.  It hangs on a narrow wall in the dining area.

  Then I spotted these chenille chair pads in various colors and just loved the colors and textures.  I only bought five this time (at $7 each), but will probably go back for several more to fill in the wall a bit more.  They filled my desire for warm, textile wall decor over the sofa, and I love the vintage look of them.  The baskets I had wanted to find were round, but these are so much warmer.

  I read somewhere that when using something abstract like this, it is better to have an odd number, and to not make them look "orderly."  But I feel there is room for one more on the lower right, and maybe one on the left mid-way between the two that are there.  So that they almost look as if they were tossed in place and stuck.

  Finally, I saw these vintage classroom posters, which weren't exactly vintage (and I thought were VERY expensive).  There is a dandelion one beneath the hanging one of multiple flowers, and I thought it would be fitting for the house, but did not want to spend $50 for a poster and two wooden dowels.

  I looked to see if I could find any at allposters.com, Amazon, or Walmart that I could hang for less, but did not find any the size I wanted for a price I was willing to pay.  That made the $50 seem a little more reasonable, but by then I had changed my mind and decided to just go back and look for vintage framed original paintings or prints.  If I can find five more of them or four and two more chair pads, then the room will feel finished.

  Naked walls feel cold and echo too much.  I want my home to feel warm, comforting, and very hygge.

Words on Wednesday

  She sat on the patio in the early, silent morning, sipping her tea and contemplating the summer day ahead of her.  There was much she wanted to do, but as usual, she had more ideas than time or money.  The sun began to top the ridge of mountains, and she scrunched her eyes to look up in the trees as a bird began to sing of its arrival.  The tapestry of leaves overhead began to wake with the song of welcome as more birds joined in the chorus.

  A small hare squeezed through the fence to nibble at the broccoli stems she had put out the night before, and she was grateful that Charlie was still sleeping in the house.  The baby didn't realize how lucky it was since her dog would have chased and probably caught it before it could escape through the fence.

  Yesterday's mail had brought a new catalog of flowers and she'd already circled more than two dozen that she wanted to add to the small yard.  The weekend prior she had used some of the slate pieces abandoned in the adjoining yard to make a clear-cut path in the garden, and her legs and back reminded her that she was not as young and limber as her mind continued to think she was.

  She smiled as she remembered something someone had once told her, "You are only as old as you think you are."  Today, she decided, she was going to be 20 again.

Words for Wednesday is a traveling feast of creativity, and can currently be found [click here> Elephant's Child.

Monday ...

  Sunday was a crazy busy day.

  I started the morning by hauling myself to a church where the handy-dude who delivered and installed my washer and dryer this week is a pastor.  The drive was a bit of a distance, roughly 20 miles, tho 10 as a crow flies.  I hadn't found a church home yet, and to be honest, any pastor who is going to put in an effort to NOT live just on the donations of the congregation gets points in my book.

  But foolish me decided to clean up nice for a real public excursion other than just a quick dash to the grocery store for dog treats and cat food.  I wore a pair of short boots with 2.5-inch heels that I've probably only worn twice before.  Then silly me decided to park as far away from the church as possible (after taking the scenic route to find the church and having to ask directions from a few random cows in a field) because I didn't really know the parking "rules." (similar to the people sitting in the same pews every Sunday and giving the stink eye when you sit in their space.  You know it happens.)  Topping off that foolishness, the church was still meeting in their youth building ~ the white building PAST the church, and down a hill.

  The church was awesome, people friendly, but the feet were not happy by the time I got back to my truck.  Next week I'm wearing tennies.

  Adding to my agony, the flea market in Lewisburg (on the way home, really!) was open and I had to (of course) stop in and snag an end table for the living room.  The original color was a teal that normally I would have loved, but it wouldn't have gone with my room.    I was going to try to cover it with lace and sponge white through the lace to get a fancy-smancy effect, but it did not go as hoped.  A can of glossy royal blue spray paint fixed that, and I may decide to scuff up the edges with sandpaper after a few days.  (and only TWO visits to the hardware store!)

  I also found these two GORGEOUS bottles to sit in my kitchen window that gets a great deal of sunshine right now.  I had some crystal stoppers and was going to buy some cheap wine to dump so I could have the bottles, but I like these so much better.  You can also see where my "Christmas" cactus has actually decided to be an Easter cactus, and my shamrocks are still in bloom.  I want to get a small glass shelf unit to fit in that window so I can have my herbs inside year-round.  But I think that may go on my "wanna-do" list for next year.  There are so many projects on that list already, that I'm feeling rather overwhelmed at times with how to get them all done.  I may just continue to look for ways to do thrifty things, and if I happen upon the right shelves it will be something that gets done sooner rather than later.

   That being said, there were quite a few items I had my eye on at the flea market but my feet hurt too much to stay long and bargain down the price.  I'm sure I will stop back by there on the way home from the church next Sunday.  Specifically, a pair of matching nightstands with drawers would be perfect in my bedroom.  White in color, but I know this place that sells paint ...

  Charlie and I got out last week for a walk on Tuesday when the temps were in the low 70sF.  We went to the park beside the creek just around the corner and watched a few people try their hand at fly-fishing.  The weather was beautiful, a light breeze, and just being able to sit and listen to the water rushing over a small waterfall was so relaxing.  I'm sure we will be back there frequently when the weather stays warm consistently.  That day was the warmest so far this month, with rain all day the next and temps in the 50s with 20s at night.  At least the cold hasn't stopped the flowers from trying to bloom.

  Charlie and I have come to an agreement of sorts.  He is allowed to sit and look out the office window only on days when I'm not working.   He gets to bark at every dog walking by, the postperson, UPS, and FedEx trucks, the neighbor's dog that is also barking, and whatever random sound he hears.  

  In exchange, I get to wear earplugs.

more happy dancing!

   It's funny how making a decision to plant roots can lift the weight of a dead oak tree off your shoulders.  

   Plans are in motion this week to get a washer and dryer.  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!  By the end of the month, I shall be swimming in clean clothes!  Not literally though.

  I've also gotten approval for some summer DIY projects I want to do, which include painting the [back patio ceiling "haint blue"] and the back door the same blue.  I got the green light to add a screen door to the kitchen so I can enjoy the summer weather.  I want to find something similar to this look.   As much as I want one with a full screen, I have visions of a little fat dog spotting a squirrel and charging through the bottom half of it willy nilly.  But I can also see a brat cat taking a leap to climb up the screen to see the birds better.

  One additional good thing is that the landlord may have chainlink fencing to enclose the yard for me so it won't be at my expense, and so the fat little dog may get some exercise by being able to run the fence line.  I'm afraid there is not much hope of the fat cat doing any running, and I like her buddha belly anyway.  The brat cat will at least be somewhat contained in the yard, and neither of the girls will be allowed out unsupervised.

   I decided to rethink wall decor in the dining area, and am looking at plates of random sizes and colors with mostly geometric designs.   I'm still looking for some yellow ones.  These were all dollar store finds, and I'm going to hit up the thrift stores next week for more.

  I am looking for three options for the living room half, which will be the previously blogged about macrame/woven textile hanging, but also an assortment of flat baskets above the sofa, and a framed fabric yet to be decided upon.

  Some more crocus has started coming up, and I'm so excited.  I really love these striped ones!  I think there will also be some daffodils, and I can't wait to get my bulbs in the ground!

Woot woot woot!

  Happy dance!  I scored a sweet deal on a used leather sofa that is so amazingly comfortable!  It has that lived-in leather wear on the cushions that I love and came with the story that it belonged to her grandfather before her.

  Clearly, Charlie already loves it.

Updated it with pillows covered in the coordinating quilt to match the dining room, and also the rose chair.

It now feels like the flowers are less overwhelming in the room, and I like that.

Of course, I had to do some fast rearranging to make room for it, and the futon I had is now in the "office"

I don't anticipate ever having company sit with me while I'm working (mega-no-no) but it gives the cats and Charlie someplace to sit.  He lost his window seat privileges because he barks too much.  He will pout about it, but oh well.  My job pays for his treats.  But the weather is nice today, in the 70s and I let him stay out for a little bit longer this afternoon while I was working.

Spring ...

The yellow and purple crocus (croci?) are from a neighboring yard that gets a little more sun than mine.

That being said, I very nearly missed this one bloomer in my side yard.

A gardening catalog arrived in the mail today and I am drooling to look through it in a bit.

I've moved the bird feeders to where I can see them while I work, and with temps in the low 60sF today, I have my hummingbird feeders out already, though I do bring them in if the night temps dip below freezing.

The birdhouses have also been moved to where I can see them from windows while still giving potential tenants privacy.

The four of us (Charlie, Lucy, Gracie & me) enjoyed the sun for a bit this morning.  I had almost found some fences to enclose the yard, but they will not be long enough and so I'm working on a Plan B which will involve planters and lattice.  Having the yard enclosed will make me worry a little less when Lucy disappears around the corner of the house to explore.  I feel there may be enough afternoon sun to do container gardens, and I'm looking forward to homemade salsa in the future.

PTSD ...

  I'm beginning to think that Lucy is planning my demise ... death by scare tactics.  Here she is perched on top of the utility cabinet ... after I jumped nearly a foot when I saw her move out of the corner of my good eye.

  I should be doing laundry today at the laundromat, but I've realized that I'm not comfortable there and cannot bring myself to go.  It is not far from me, but they only allow three people in the building at a time, and my hypervigilance since the issues with my ex has made me more than a little afraid of situations like that.  Especially around people I don't know.  I hate to admit that fear and PTSD have gained the upper hand in my life.  My motto used to be to face it and beat it.  But now ... it may take me a little longer to reach that point again.  

  Truth be told, when I used to think that my previous "abuser" was the worst, he was really just a controlling a-hole who liked to verbally and psychologically threaten, belittle and abuse me, hitting me once with a rake handle when he was angry.  He was predictable, and he was sober ~ or at least a dry drunk since he didn't work a program.  Healing from 12 years with him was as easy as standing up to him and walking away.  It was not "all" bad times with him, and when he was in a happy place mentally, we were both happy.  I stayed until the bad times outnumbered the happy ones, and his sexual interests went to a place that I did not want to go.

  The thing that has affected me the most with "D" is that he is an active drunk and drug addict, and completely unpredictable.  He said and did things and then later either had no memory of them or chose to deny that they happened and I was the "crazy" one.  He uses the excuse of mental illness and his alcoholism/addictions as if it clears him of all wrongdoing, and never wants to accept responsibility for his actions.  He had on three occasions broken into houses to get to me when I had tried to keep him out.  In the ten years, we were together, the bad outnumbered the happy.  I was guilted into staying after the first two, and then I was not in a position to leave for the last six.  It was not until I found a job that would move with me, and his instability and threats to harm me became more frequent that I felt I no other option than to leave the state and try to get somewhere that he would not find me.

  Now, in spite of just being convicted in early February of violating the 4-year restraining order against him, he has already tried to find me by using his friends to contact me under the pretense of splitting a Covid Stimulus check with me.   That was always the other issue of fear with him.  His so-called friends and "buddies."  People he met five minutes before at a bar or during a drug deal became his buddies and would be welcomed into the house, and his life, as if he had known them forever.  There were many, many nights I would stay in the bedroom out of fear, using the bathroom in a trash can because I didn't want to go outside the room.  All because he had invited a half dozen strangers into the house and they were jamming on his electric guitars at 3am after the bars had closed.  His circles always include people who would steal, harm, use, or abuse ... and unfortunately, that was sometimes members of his own family.  When he got out of prison the first time, it was his own niece who got him hooked again on meth.  

  With friends like his, I didn't need enemies.

  So here I am, afraid to be the only one, or one of three, in an unfamiliar laundromat.  Washing underclothes in the bathroom sink until I can afford to get a washer and dryer.  Buying jeans and tops at the Goodwill.  Trying to find my courage again to step out into the unknown with confidence and my Amazon shield before me.

"That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up. You just have to be willing to take the ascent."

Permission to share granted by The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself 2021 Day-to-Day Calendar © 2020 by Michael A. Singer, published by Andrews McMeel Publishing.

Sunday

  The dining area is complete with the addition of the new arc floor lamp.  I absolutely love it.  It gives a very hygge feel to the dining room.  Not too bright or in your face, with just enough light for a cozy meal.  If I ate at the table that is.  I may have to start just 'because.'  I'm using flameless candle votives because certain cats like to get on the table to spy on the world from the window (which is why the one curtain is wrinkled from their claws) and I have nightmares about tails catching fire.

  I'm still deciding on wall decor.  I don't think the room needs any more yellow, or blue, or flowers.  But I'm not an abstract or large mirror person.  Tapestries would help with warmth and sound blocking, but be completely busy and distracting.  I'm leaning towards [a macrame or a woven piece,] like those on Pinterest, but haven't decided if I want to master a new craft or purchase a unique one.

  I certainly have the time, but after purchasing materials, redoing it multiple times until I feel it is "perfect," and then giving up and buying one on Etsy after all .... I know myself too well.

  I've also been eyeing some [Marjolein Bastin prints] to hang over the sofa.  I love her art, especially her birds.  In spite of the number of flowers in the fabric I chose to recover the dining chairs and use as the sofa cover, I'm really not a flowery person.  But I wanted bright, happy colors after so many years in darkness.

  The string lights that were on the wall in the dining side of the room were rehung on the opposite wall in the shape of a Christmas tree, which I've now decided I don't like so they will come down in the near future and go outside on the back patio when the weather warms up enough for 3M hangers to stick on the vinyl siding.

  I suppose there is one caveat to the "I'm not really a flowery person."  Not inside that is.  Outside is a totally different me.  I'm all about the flowers (and the pollinators) and have ordered a honeysuckle plant for the fence between me and a vacant lot, and 200 bulbs for full/partial flowers that are summer and fall blooming.  Some spring flowers from previous tenants have started to come up, and I'm excited to see what they will be.  I think I recognize crocus leaves, and possibly daffodils.  I need to find an inexpensive supply of little plastic windmills to mark where they are so that I can move them in the fall if I order spring-blooming bulbs.  There is a lilac tree in my future, I can feel it, and also lily-of-the-valley.  

  I can almost see the dirt under my nails now.